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list-en's Journal
Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.
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2005.12.22 05.33
end of an era, reprise
eating jello out of a pan conversations in rounds (nothing ever really gets said) remember when you loved me? not knowing that you held those things precious "you usually start on wednesdays" wanting so very much to make things special marking your territory clips from gettysburg you still have all the letters i gave you on your refrigerator "whose bed am i in?"
but nothing we ever did was as good as i wanted it to be.
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2004.03.05 00.00
where are we going?
birth control pills {minimum: 7} shimmery outfits gloves, access, etc. passport (in the event of in depth escapism!) pearls, of course scarves extreme listmaking paraphenalia (plane-time fun!) gifties for scribble, ashley, amie, q, & miss hannah book for plane reads claspy purse dinosaur toothbrush, other primping gear socks GALORE! undies x yay! printout of flight times ladybug w/ ribbon guts mini dv cam regular digicam extra batteries telly phone + chargers, yadda yadda glitter, confetti, pompoms stickers
Mood: packrat Music: mogwai
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2003.10.24 00.16
how i miss...
a q for every city to sleep w/ a loved one feeling oh-so-very casey & i dancing on the bed fingerpaints, it all feels better when i'm touching you waking up w/ confettis on my our skin
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2003.04.21 17.13
compulsions
must use orange highlighter for textbooks must load heavy laundries first must fill gas tank before it reaches 1/4 tank cannot turn steering wheel all the way in one direction must print all documents in draft to save ink can only take notes in a certain order weight of paper
(to be cont)
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2003.01.05 04.00
gift & thrift
new acquisitions:
5 my little ponies 2 glowworms deep green velvet waistcoat pale green fitted sweater *pearlbuttons long lavander!plum shawl red+blue+black circus dress ladybug mittens! navy slinkysleek slip
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2002.11.03 16.05
some other people were listing their past hallow's eve costumes, and i wanted to see if i could remember mine...
2002: pippi! 2001: raspberry tart 2000: a peacock 1999: fire 1998: air 1997: a vampire kitty! 1996: i don't think i dressed up? i was probably like rainbow brite or something
others: + a cheerleader + alf + a kitten + a devil + a clown + a hippie + a ladybug
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2002.09.28 02.08
splish,splash~!
a list of fancy-ish umbrellas i've seen recently! flowers fishes impressionist paintings fishnet with fringe (i wish) clouds globes ladybug (not like mine, but we complimented eachother!) <mine's cuter, it has antennae> & the very bestest one% an umbrella decorated with other umbrellas!
people need to get more creative with their umbrella-ing! share the fun!
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2002.09.13 12.28
current lists:
camera accessories bank account ⋄ $s [text]books meal plan expenses current lists mailbox class schedule homework to do #96,345,827,134,806 about philly SCAT equipment address changes bring with / take home buy birthdays
Mood: ditzy Music: why do they have ditzy but not dizzy?
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2002.08.11 04.24
things to do in l.a.
silent movie theatre
sanrio store! ♥ play in the canyons
bloomers from ozzie dots
sunglasses too!
wacko
maybe look for old friends? sex with the ocean rollerskates! disneyland...? pictures of the old apartment building (daydreams;nightmares) venice beach, funs!
find clubs through secret doors ticket to portland? scientology test (ha :) find my sewing supplies? lots of things with question marks!
even more with exclamation points!
do coke with scribble !!! miss peoples tiramisu! camera supply store sex store
melrose, jet rag {sunday}
there must be someplace that i like to eat very muchly? kisses for the ocean, for everyone. swoon swoon!
*oh, old speghetti factory! & barney's beanery, possibly {dom perignon + chili-cheese-dog combo!} **del taco & jack ***get thrown out of a bar while puking on scribble!!!!
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2002.07.11 13.36
2. Sensation; special sensation; light; complementary colors
Greenness. [Nouns] green; blue and yellow; vert. emerald, verd antique, verdigris, malachite, beryl, aquamarine; absinthe, cr?me de menthe. [Pigments] terre verte, verditer, verdine. greenness, verdure; viridity, viridescence; verditure. [Adjectives] green, verdant; glaucous, olive; green as grass; verdurous. emerald green, pea green, grass green, apple green, sea green, olive green, bottle green. greenish; virent, virescent.
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2002.07.11 12.49
the schoolbox giftie from jermand!
* foam shape kit * green travel spirograph! * pack of 4 flourescent erasers * glitter cirque-y stickers * glitter butterflies * regular butterfligh stickers * glow in the dark * stickers! * ladybug bead-y! * loads of sparkle colour pencils! * 3 green champagne bubblies, ha! ;) * huge green champagne bottle blow-up toy * 3d butterfly stickers * sparkling candles * stripe-y pencil pouch * green food colouring ~ rah! %% (i've already masturbated w/ it!) * orange blossoms tin w/ girls kissing! * mini yoyo * 3 ickle tape dispensers (so cute!) * more butterfly stickers * glitter bouncy ball * champagne confettis! <3 * glitter star tights * lots of mini markers * A LADYBUG PENCIL!!! * a "sparkle fun activity kit" which comes with {a mini list of its own!}: + animal stickers + crepe papers + oragami papers + confetti! + regular papers + construction papers + oh-so-many papers!!! :D * ladybug blow bubbles toy! * yay!
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2002.07.11 12.43
all drawn out
-invites me to places where he's making drug deals (1) -friends that i can't stand -doesn't show up for felix drinks -leaves when i am curled up in a ball -never dancing, -'dinner' means drinks -he makes promises he can't keep -doesn't call when he says he will -doesn't realize the severity of my desires, -the weight i hold upon them. -un-cirque us. -all apologies, -all excuses. -leaves me no directions to his house -makes it a point to point out his ex i don't even really care about this one, it just confused me. -tells me to follow this cat he needs some money from (2) -invites people over to swim, who make secret requests that hurt my feelings (3) -has the nerve to get into my car smelling like pot, (4) after i brought him to this place so he could "drop off money for a concert ticket" which was supposed to last 30 seconds?
i don't know. i don't know what to do.
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2002.07.11 00.35
mania expense account
+2500 sticker kit two pair fishnet stockings [lavander & seafoam] two pair socks [green barcode & green + purple swirlies] two pair tinkerbelle undies one slimming blk lace pantaloons story of o little altars everywhere five prescriptions, none of them working?
skipping work because i can't stand up without the fear of crashing through the window?
+ in the p.m.: eleven slips / vintage lingerie one pollyanna ruffled gown one 60s blue sea foam dress one black satin beaded mermaid wrap one pair (ever desired) penny loafers one pair black velvet maryjanes one pair black wool slacks
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2002.06.23 20.53
i wish: i had seen billie holiday perform live
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2002.06.16 01.40
a glorious day
in my hair: 2 st*rs, a fl*wer, & a butt*rfly
on my walk:
[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<li="circle">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] in my hair: 2 st*rs, a fl*wer, & a butt*rfly
on my walk: <li="circle"> <li>flowers in the windowsill <li>"oh, you pretty air!" <li>2 women w/ a baby <li>people talking in the street <li>writing this list <li>a group of men in blue shirts <li>two women holding hands <li>tomato shirts! <li>little birds <li>"hello!" <li>street crossing <li>random smiles <li>"have a good night now!" <li>rainbow bookstores <li>listening to people flirting in line <li>green arrows pointing at the moon <li>2 couples holding hands <li>a man tying his shoe <li><i>"take a walk through the park, take a valium pill"</i> <li>mango milkshakes
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2002.06.10 14.51
the college collage
as written; fonts needed = (is a list in itself!) arial narrow, robot teacher, two turtle doves, ravie, pristina, parade, jokerman, french script MT, curlz MT, MS reference serif, action jackson, gill sans MT, freestyle script
i know i will.
COLLeGe:
Need:
> hello kitty coffee pot > stereo > ribbons > cute pencils, notebooks > iron? > toiletries > baskets (?) / or more hatboxes! > mirror
* B R I N G W i T H : *
bloomers, ribbons, china plates, cd's, nancy drew books (???), sandman, some craft supplies, highlighters!, camera?, some gloves, CUTe sheets!, tap shoes + ballet slippers, B . O . O . K . S, text, S*T*iC*Ke*R*S!, peacock feathers?, oooh, i like the way my head sounds when i move it..., teacups (definately), hello kitty soaps, hand painted champagne glasses, handbags, blankets, art supplies, SOCKS!, fishnets, lollipops, computer! (hee!), school stuff (files, etc.), ♥ & excitement!
keep behind :(
memories (no, not that kind!) champagne bottles hatboxes ? clothes cd cases not sure @ masques
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2002.05.21 02.08
miss pell
ocasionally tomorrow apparently embarassed parrallel perpindicular
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2002.05.01 11.28
unsent
* font = may queen
Dear Matthew raoul, I like you a lot. I realize you're in a relationship with someone right now, And I respect that. I would like you to know that if you're ever single in the future and you want to Come visit me in california, I would be Open to spending time with you and Finding out how old you were when you wrote your first song.
Dear Jonathan jeremy, I liked you too much. I used to be attracted to boys who would lie to me And think solely about themselves. and you were Plenty self-destructive for my taste at the time. I used to say 'the more tragic the better'. The truth is, whenever I think of the early 90s, your face comes up with a vengeance Like it was yesterday.
Dear Terrance casey, I love you muchly You've been nothing but open hearted and emotionally available and supportive And nurturing, and consumately there for me. I kept drawing you in And pushing you away. I remember how beautiful it was To fall asleep on your couch and cry in front of you for the first time, you were the Best platform from which to jump beyond myself What was wrong with me?
Dear Marcus goblin, You rocked my world. You had a charismatic way about you with the women And you got me seriously thinking about spirituality. And you wouldn't let me get away with kicking my own ass, But I could never really feel relaxed and looked out for around you though. And that stopped us from going any further than we did, And it's kind of too bad, 'cause we could've had much more fun.
Dear Lou q, We learned so much. I realize we won't be able to talk for some time, And I understand that as I do you. The long distance thing was the hardest and we did as well as we could; We were together during a very tumultuous time in our lives. I will always have your back and be curious about you About your career, your whereabouts.
....
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2002.04.24 17.57
i drew hearts
he has funny hair he helps me finish my projects he encourages me to be a "good" girl {backseat fellatio!} he eats lollies with me he whispers, "you are marvelous" he takes me to see delicious girls and lets me % them backstage
he is a hippie (i forgive him) he makes patchwork pants! (twinsies!) he brings me water to drink when we are sleepies he picks me up when i am drunk he gets me drunk! my pants mysteriously disappear when i am with him he gets me off while i drive he does not make fun of me for calling peanuts "candy-apple nuts" he is oh-so polite to my mother he says "we can do anything you want" & means it. he read my nancy drew sleuth book while i finished my design. (it was the cutest thing ever) he is compassionate. he celebrates with me he celebrates me! we celebrate each other :) he orders good drink he gives good massage he helps me feel free he studies film-making! (twinsies #2!) he laughs often he kisses often popsicles-in-waiting!
additional: he dresses me in nightgowns when i am too drunk to move he wraps me in a bumblebee when i am too fucked to wave he lets me hold him down and drink him in when i am too afraid of everything he does not let me drive into trees, he whispers that he wants to make forever last with me
%
but the best part is,
he recognizes when i am uncomfortable & he does not disappear when i am sad. *:?
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2002.04.10 17.46
we see you!
all of my credits are transferrable (except for the seminar on mass suicide ;) oh golly gee! dancing is ethical green walls and donut-shaped buildings... % quirky professors no-where to live! sex shoppes & government * people with rainbow hair
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2002.04.10 17.27
for the love of psychology
- black knit minidress
- black tights
- hot pink fishnets
- pink bloomers
- pink ribbon around neck
- lighter pink ribbon in hair
- black platform heels
- black velvet coat
- hot pink / lime green nails
- pink highlighters! %
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2002.04.03 18.10
social interaction / interpersonal theory
dependancy: + / [mostly -] arrestation
malevolent transformation: ... [somewhat +]
social learning: massively [-] arrestation!
human relationships: ...
heterosexual relationships: + arrestation
functional adulthood: + arrestation
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